No Spandex Allowed

Hell AND High Water
(Special Issue, Guest Artist)

In which Napalm Nate and the angel Eric Engle combat Satan following a ghost tour.
On Halloween, 2016, disaster struck Jacksonville as Satan himself laid siege to the unsuspecting city. Using a powerful book captured from the dimensional vagabond Diver, Satan, in the form of a particularly virile diner employee, used the local DMV as a staging ground to merge Hell and its American counterpart, Jacksonville.

Luckily, national hero “Napalm Nate” partnered with Engel, an ironically named and amnesiac seraphim to lead the charge against Hell’s armies. With the aid of Diver and a pair of overly-enthusiastic off duty Marines, the ragtag bunch captured I-95 and followed the highway to Satan’s bureaucratic stronghold. After a pitched battle, Nate and Engel dispatched the Prince of Lies (one of several incarnations, according to Diver), and brought peace back to Jacksonville.

Marring the heroes’ successful outing was the appearance of a mysterious Vietnamese agent, who swept through the chaos and made off with Book 8 before any of our heroes could retrieve it for themselves.

The Story So Far (Issues 1.11-1.21)

These will hopefully be a bit more detailed once we get going, but here’s a brief summary of what came before.

Mitchell Johnson, aka Ironclad, Curt McAllister, aka Thunderbird, Daren Demarko, aka Diamondback, and Diana…McAllister(?) aka Curt’s maybe-wife all came to Ossining for different reasons, but aside from Diamondback they all stay because they are caught in the wake of a breakout at the Sing Sing Correctional Facility. While Diamondback’s appearance was more of a teaser for Act 2, the others were all eventually drawn to the Black Sheep football stadium, hemmed in by bounty hunters, science experiments, and heroic instinct.

Waiting for them in the stadium was the architect of the breakout, Dr. Henry Gallows, who (after a rather tense discussion with Ironclad) approached the heroes with an offer to join The Pantheon, a collection of like-minded superhumans guided by Gallows himself. Following a natural aversion to authority, T-bird, Ironclad, and their short term ally Blue Ribbon politely declined. In the aftermath of Gallows’ invitation, the boys planned a whirlwind trip to Japan. For Curt and Diana it would be a welcome haven from the U.S. police, while for Mitchell it meant an opportunity to seek out Robert Ehman and unravel the conspiracy behind his own arrest.

As it turns out, it is pretty difficult for a superhero to just dip their toes in a new country. Within minutes of their arrival, the boys were accosted by a nuclear eco-terrorist and the driver of one “Bobby Ehman”. Dy-No-Might proved difficult to capture, so the latter enigma took precedent. A visit to an uptown bakery revealed that they were summoned not by Robert Ehman, of Multiplex fame, but Bobbi, his mostly grounded daughter.

Bobbi is kept under lock and key by Multiplex security agents, but she did manage to arrange a meeting between the boys and her boyfriend Haku in Nara’s famous Deer Park. Although we were all too tired to be of much use at this point, things did heat up a little bit. After catching up with Diamondback, in town for a fashion expo, the group learned of Haku’s shapeshifting abilities only to be set upon by NaiaN aggressors before they could make too many venison jokes. While our characters made it out unharmed, we were all good and dead by the end of this fight, and decided to call it a day.

Next time, we’ll decide who should really be in charge of Multiplex, find out what the fuck a NaiaN is, and see if we can keep Japan on the map for just a little while longer.


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